Bad Boys/Mixed Message

Many males have been labeled 'Bad Boys' for displaying mischievous behavior, however, they are given a mixed message by being celebrated for said behavior. From the time boys are sent to play in the sand-box they are told, "If someone hits you, you hit them back." In the early stages of life, boys are taught to be impulsive and violent. By teaching boys this impulsive and violent behavior, they are being trained not to have conflict resolution skills when they get older and the fall-out effect of this behavior can be damaging. Whether it is said out of fear or admiration, when someone says, "you are a bad boy," it reinforces and celebrates negative behavior. Some parents encourage their boys to fight until they win. And some ridicule boys for not fighting back or not winning. This can send a boy on a violent fighting frenzy, trying to win approval. In the attempt of winning approval and to be validated by others, many boys pick up weapons (guns, knife, bat, etc...) to ensure that they win the fight. These weapons can cause serious injury or death, not to mention time in prison. So, when boys get expelled from school for fighting, but get praised for winning the fight, this sends the "bad boy, mixed message." When boys become incarcerated for bad behavior, they are given a Badge-of-Honor or street credit, resulting in the 'Bad Boy, Mixed Message'. When boys become a Baby's Daddy, they are considered a man, sending the 'Bad Boy, Mixed Message.'  Key preventative actions are needed for our boys to help them to:
* Learn peaceful methods of negotiation and compromise.
* Process any violence they see in the media and talk about alternative solutions.
* Learn the skills of problem-solving.
* Understand and take responsibility for the consequences of their own behavior.
* Learn how to control their impulses.
* Walk away from violence situations and use conflict resolution.
Lets not call bad, good and send a clear message that bad behavior is unacceptable, because 'Mixed Messages' are killing our boys.

Now available online for purchase at www.amazon.com "The Quarterback Handbook" by Raymond L. Carr Jr. This book is about 'Male Responsibility.

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