Bad Boys/Mixed Message

Many males have been labeled 'Bad Boys' for displaying mischievous behavior, however, they are given a mixed message by being celebrated for said behavior. From the time boys are sent to play in the sand-box they are told, "If someone hits you, you hit them back." In the early stages of life, boys are taught to be impulsive and violent. By teaching boys this impulsive and violent behavior, they are being trained not to have conflict resolution skills when they get older and the fall-out effect of this behavior can be damaging. Whether it is said out of fear or admiration, when someone says, "you are a bad boy," it reinforces and celebrates negative behavior. Some parents encourage their boys to fight until they win. And some ridicule boys for not fighting back or not winning. This can send a boy on a violent fighting frenzy, trying to win approval. In the attempt of winning approval and to be validated by others, many boys pick up weapons (guns, knife, bat, etc...) to ensure that they win the fight. These weapons can cause serious injury or death, not to mention time in prison. So, when boys get expelled from school for fighting, but get praised for winning the fight, this sends the "bad boy, mixed message." When boys become incarcerated for bad behavior, they are given a Badge-of-Honor or street credit, resulting in the 'Bad Boy, Mixed Message'. When boys become a Baby's Daddy, they are considered a man, sending the 'Bad Boy, Mixed Message.'  Key preventative actions are needed for our boys to help them to:
* Learn peaceful methods of negotiation and compromise.
* Process any violence they see in the media and talk about alternative solutions.
* Learn the skills of problem-solving.
* Understand and take responsibility for the consequences of their own behavior.
* Learn how to control their impulses.
* Walk away from violence situations and use conflict resolution.
Lets not call bad, good and send a clear message that bad behavior is unacceptable, because 'Mixed Messages' are killing our boys.

Now available online for purchase at www.amazon.com "The Quarterback Handbook" by Raymond L. Carr Jr. This book is about 'Male Responsibility.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Just A Little Mercy

JUST A LITTLE MERCY By Raymond L. Carr Jr., author & incarcerated citizen I just watched the movie "Just Mercy", I feel encouraged and inspired, I also feel saddened because I know how it feels to fight for your life, to only be told "No" when you should be getting relief from an unjust conviction. I don't know what its like to be on Death Row, however, being sentenced to Life without the possibility for parole is equivalent to being on Death Row. Instead of getting a date to die, they are waiting for me to die, death by incarceration. Over the years I can't help but to think about all the cases I read about or witness firsthand, of how misconducts took place to obtain convictions and how people didn't receive a fair trial. I think about the Central Park Five (aka Exonerated Five) and all of those who are actual innocent. In the movie it was said, "It is better to be rich and guilty, than to be poor and innocent." I thought about a ca
Read more

Voting Power

VOTING POWER By Raymond L. Carr Jr. Knowing our voting rights is important, especially when Black people fought and died for our right to vote. I remember when I became eligible to vote, my grandmother was so happy that I would be voting for the first time. All I knew about voting was, people before me marched and protested to vote. But, I didn't really understand the power of voting or how my vote counted. The first time I actually voted, I didn't know who to vote for, so if the name sounded familiar I voted for them. I knew nothing about the candidates, I knew nothing about the issues and to say I was uneducated to the voting process was an understatement. Unfortunately, too many people of color feel disenfranchised from the voting process. One reason people feel their vote doesn't count is because, some candidates turn into celebrities after they are elected, they stop taking phone calls and disappear until its time for reelection. This is the reason we have to keep our
Read more

SECOND CHANCE TOO

SECOND CHANCE TOO By Raymond L. Carr Jr., Author and Blogger Lately, in the news it has been discussed that 17 year olds should not be treated as adults and the age for criminal responsibility should be raised to 18 years old (Raise the age Bill). However, Dr. Laurence Steinberg's scientific evidence and research on the 'Brain Science' has become the recognized expert for Juvenile/Youthful Offenders brain development, which the United States Supreme Court relied on in their ruling, that it was "Cruel and Unusual Punishment to sentence an youthful offender whose brain has not fully developed to 'Life Without the Possibility of Parole'. According to the Brain Science, research shows that a brain continues to mature even into his or her mid-twenties. Some believe the brain and the ability to make good decisions and judgments reached closer to 25 or 26 years of age. In California, legislatively raised their 'Juvenile/Youthful Offender' age to 25 years old,
Read more